Obdurate

I had to look it up. This was a word I'd never heard before but its contextual usage by Sam Storms told me it was not complimentary.

"I don't believe it's possible to truly understand and appreciate the great things of God without being stirred with passion and zeal and joy and delight and fervor. Only obdurate spiritual blindness prevents the human soul from being greatly impressed and powerfully moved by the revelation of such eternal splendor." ~Sam Storms, One Thing: Developing a Passion for the Beauty of God

Yet as I read and study and plead with God for relief of the dryness in my soul I remain obdurate. Hardened. Resistant to persuasion or softening influences. "God, show me your glory," is a constant cry of my heart that seems to echo like footsteps on a marble floor in an empty, quiet, massive room. "How can I know so much about You and still have to ask, 'Where are You, God?'"

"Worship in eminently practical because adoring and affectionate praise is what restores our sense of ultimate value. It exposes the worthless and temporary and tawdry stuff of this world. Worship energizes the heart to seek satisfaction in Jesus alone. In worship we are reminded that this world is fleeting and unworthy of our heart's devotion. Worship connects our souls with the transcendent power of God and awakens in us appreciation for true beauty. It pulls back the veil of deception and exposes the ugliness of sin and Satan. Worship is a joyful rebuke of the world. When our hearts are riveted on Jesus everything else in life becomes so utterly unnecessary and we become far less demanding." ~Sam Storms, One Thing: Developing a Passion for the Beauty of God

I was taking my groceries up from the car last night when from the driveway comes a cry of, "Mom! Come quickly!" I thought someone was hurt or another red fox was in our yard. No, my son had seen the greatness of God. Last night was dark and clear and he wanted to point out the big dipper. The stars were amazing! My cry of, "Where are you, God?" was not only answered, but had been there since the beginning of time. I just wasn't looking past the end of myself.

"O, Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory above the heavens.

Out of the mouths of babes and infants,

you have established strength because of your foes,

to still the enemy and the avenger.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

and the son of man that you care for him?" ~Psalm 8:1-4

I've been missing out on worship because I've been obdurate. I've chosen not to bend the knee but, like the Pharisees, requested a sign. My focus has been on my dryness instead of His rivers of living water. Yet, true to His merciful character, He is opening my eyes to the signs He's already given. Romans 1 says that His divine nature can be seen in creation. I want to suck in the beauty of God, to revel in His majestic display of His glory, and to be changed.

(Photos taken at Cuyahoga Valley National Park)