Batter My Heart

 Batter my heart, three personed God; for you
 As yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend.
 That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me and bend
 Your force, to break, blow, burn and make me new,
 I, like an usurped town, to another due,
 Labor to admit you, but, oh, to no end;
 Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend;
 But is captive and proves weak or untrue.

 Yet dearly I love you and would be loved fain;
 But am betrothed unto your enemy;
 Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
 Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
 Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
 Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

    John Donne, "Batter My Heart"

Gasping for Joy

Fear grips me. Unexpected events cause me to forget who He is and what He's promised.

"I am God and there is no other."

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name. You are mine."

"I will never leave you or forsake you."

My peace is so easily shattered when the idols I've established in the shrine of my life--security, comfort, control--topple from their pedestals. Faced with uncertainty, I believe the lie that God's good gifts only come in tidy, pleasant, easy to handle packages. Is He not good?

How can I forget the truth?

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

He alone can satisfy.

In your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

The God of the universe has pursued a rebellious and stiff-necked people. I have never done anything to deserve his love, and can do nothing to stop it from continuing.


Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.

Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,
nothing to move God to be gracious,
or continue his grace towards thee.
If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.

Look not below God for happiness;
fall not asleep in Delilah's lap.
Let God be all in all to thee,
and joy in the fountain that is always full.

~taken from The Valley of Vision

Day 21: Work it

The 21 Day Challenge has come to an end! I've learned quite a bit from the lovely ladies who've exposed themselves to the lens every day. It's been challenging, for sure, especially since I hate having my picture taken and have avoided it at all costs for the last 25 years. I've learned to wear a belt, do something different with my hair, and try mixing pieces. I've pulled jewelry out that has sat in my drawer for years. But mostly I've learned to be confident with what God's given me instead of yearning for what I'm not. It's been good.

But I can't say I'll be sorry to not have to photograph myself each and every day!

Faded Glory tank (thrifted, $1.50), Kirra color block tank (thrifted, $1.50), Express sweater (thrifted, $4), Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (thrifted, $5), beaded earrings (thrifted, $1), hairclip borrowed from my tween, flower pin swiped from another thrifted blouse, Etienne Aigner sandals (TJ Maxx,)
Whole outfit without shoes=$13

But the best thing of all was having my daughter tell me, "Mom, you're so beautiful." To raise a girl who knows that about herself long before she gets to be 40, who has the confidence that no matter what clothes or size or brand she wears she is precious in the eyes of God, is truly a worthy challenge.

Day 20: Sunday Shoes

Confession: I don't really have Sunday shoes. Jeans and a tee or a party dress are acceptable at our church, so all my shoes qualify.

This is an everyday casual summer outfit. I just added some dressier shoes and a fun bracelet.

Gap tee & St. John's Bay skirt (thrifted), Walmart bracelet (borrowed from Sissy), Payless sandals

Day 19: Adorn your Head

So continuing on with this "new hair" thing, I tried another headband.

I know I need jewelry, but it's a zillion degrees here today, and I just couldn't take it! I was just about melting while taking these pictures.

Odille blouse (thrifted)
Maidenform cami (thrifted)
Cherokee shorts (thrifted)
Mossimo flats (target)
Headband--piece of lace I removed from a piece of thrifted fabric
Earrings from Etsy-- www.etsy.com/shop/kgarnerdesigns

On a family note, we took the kids on a field trip today. They had a ball climbing on tanks, touring museums, and playing in the water. Here are a few of my favorite shots:

Bubba directing the water in the fountain as if it's music.

L.B. dancing to his brother's music.



Another Christmas card photo reject. Thanks, Bozo boy.

Sissy and her daddy.

Ain't life grand? Today, it definitely was!

Day 18: Statement Jewelry

I don't have much in the way of jewelry, let alone statement jewelry. Most of what I own was purchased in my teen years, when dainty jewelry with argyle sweaters were popular.

My dad made these earrings for my mom in the 70's. I've claimed them as my own. I'd probably wear them more if they didn't resemble an ad for Oprah's magazine.

It's ridiculously hot today, and I'm preparing for company on top of teaching school, so the outfit is basic and cool.

Big Lots tee, handmade skirt (thrifted and altered), Mossimo flats (Target)

Day 17: Mend It

Thrift shopping is an adventure. Every trip has a story. Some are thrilling, like the pink cashmere sweater snagged for $2.99. Some are bizarre, like the slightly overweight man in line ahead of you with an armful of women's lingerie...in his size. And others are rather embarrassing. Like this one:

On "dollar shirt day," I was flipping through the t-shirts at my favorite local thrift and got all excited when I saw ol' Bill's face on a next-to-new tee with a pleasant cut in my size. "Yippee!" says the English teacher. "What fun for a buck!" It said something on the front about prose that I thought I'd look up later. Must be some literature thing I wasn't familiar with. So I grabbed it and added it to my loot. When I checked out, the clerk gave me a quizzical look and said, "How about 50-cents?" I looked back at her just as quizzically and answered, "Ok?"

When I got home, I looked up the phrase and understood. Oops! Not appropriate! Of course my husband, a friend who's a public school teacher, and another who's a computer geek knew right away what it said and meant. I was not to be deterred. I was not going to send it back to the thrift, or worse, put the greatest playwright of all time in the trash! So I fixed it! And I think Shakespeare himself would thank me.

Shakespeare tee (now rated G)
J. Jill skirt (shortened and embroidery removed)
Keds slip-ons
Headband (handmade by someone or other)
ALL THRIFTED!
Earrings (gift)

Oh, and I'm still working on that "new hair" thing. Thoughts?