Batter My Heart

 Batter my heart, three personed God; for you
 As yet but knock, breathe, shine and seek to mend.
 That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me and bend
 Your force, to break, blow, burn and make me new,
 I, like an usurped town, to another due,
 Labor to admit you, but, oh, to no end;
 Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend;
 But is captive and proves weak or untrue.

 Yet dearly I love you and would be loved fain;
 But am betrothed unto your enemy;
 Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
 Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
 Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
 Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

    John Donne, "Batter My Heart"

Gasping for Joy

Fear grips me. Unexpected events cause me to forget who He is and what He's promised.

"I am God and there is no other."

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name. You are mine."

"I will never leave you or forsake you."

My peace is so easily shattered when the idols I've established in the shrine of my life--security, comfort, control--topple from their pedestals. Faced with uncertainty, I believe the lie that God's good gifts only come in tidy, pleasant, easy to handle packages. Is He not good?

How can I forget the truth?

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

He alone can satisfy.

In your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

The God of the universe has pursued a rebellious and stiff-necked people. I have never done anything to deserve his love, and can do nothing to stop it from continuing.


Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.

Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,
nothing to move God to be gracious,
or continue his grace towards thee.
If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.

Look not below God for happiness;
fall not asleep in Delilah's lap.
Let God be all in all to thee,
and joy in the fountain that is always full.

~taken from The Valley of Vision

Day 21: Work it

The 21 Day Challenge has come to an end! I've learned quite a bit from the lovely ladies who've exposed themselves to the lens every day. It's been challenging, for sure, especially since I hate having my picture taken and have avoided it at all costs for the last 25 years. I've learned to wear a belt, do something different with my hair, and try mixing pieces. I've pulled jewelry out that has sat in my drawer for years. But mostly I've learned to be confident with what God's given me instead of yearning for what I'm not. It's been good.

But I can't say I'll be sorry to not have to photograph myself each and every day!

Faded Glory tank (thrifted, $1.50), Kirra color block tank (thrifted, $1.50), Express sweater (thrifted, $4), Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (thrifted, $5), beaded earrings (thrifted, $1), hairclip borrowed from my tween, flower pin swiped from another thrifted blouse, Etienne Aigner sandals (TJ Maxx,)
Whole outfit without shoes=$13

But the best thing of all was having my daughter tell me, "Mom, you're so beautiful." To raise a girl who knows that about herself long before she gets to be 40, who has the confidence that no matter what clothes or size or brand she wears she is precious in the eyes of God, is truly a worthy challenge.

Day 20: Sunday Shoes

Confession: I don't really have Sunday shoes. Jeans and a tee or a party dress are acceptable at our church, so all my shoes qualify.

This is an everyday casual summer outfit. I just added some dressier shoes and a fun bracelet.

Gap tee & St. John's Bay skirt (thrifted), Walmart bracelet (borrowed from Sissy), Payless sandals

Day 19: Adorn your Head

So continuing on with this "new hair" thing, I tried another headband.

I know I need jewelry, but it's a zillion degrees here today, and I just couldn't take it! I was just about melting while taking these pictures.

Odille blouse (thrifted)
Maidenform cami (thrifted)
Cherokee shorts (thrifted)
Mossimo flats (target)
Headband--piece of lace I removed from a piece of thrifted fabric
Earrings from Etsy-- www.etsy.com/shop/kgarnerdesigns

On a family note, we took the kids on a field trip today. They had a ball climbing on tanks, touring museums, and playing in the water. Here are a few of my favorite shots:

Bubba directing the water in the fountain as if it's music.

L.B. dancing to his brother's music.



Another Christmas card photo reject. Thanks, Bozo boy.

Sissy and her daddy.

Ain't life grand? Today, it definitely was!

Day 18: Statement Jewelry

I don't have much in the way of jewelry, let alone statement jewelry. Most of what I own was purchased in my teen years, when dainty jewelry with argyle sweaters were popular.

My dad made these earrings for my mom in the 70's. I've claimed them as my own. I'd probably wear them more if they didn't resemble an ad for Oprah's magazine.

It's ridiculously hot today, and I'm preparing for company on top of teaching school, so the outfit is basic and cool.

Big Lots tee, handmade skirt (thrifted and altered), Mossimo flats (Target)

Day 17: Mend It

Thrift shopping is an adventure. Every trip has a story. Some are thrilling, like the pink cashmere sweater snagged for $2.99. Some are bizarre, like the slightly overweight man in line ahead of you with an armful of women's lingerie...in his size. And others are rather embarrassing. Like this one:

On "dollar shirt day," I was flipping through the t-shirts at my favorite local thrift and got all excited when I saw ol' Bill's face on a next-to-new tee with a pleasant cut in my size. "Yippee!" says the English teacher. "What fun for a buck!" It said something on the front about prose that I thought I'd look up later. Must be some literature thing I wasn't familiar with. So I grabbed it and added it to my loot. When I checked out, the clerk gave me a quizzical look and said, "How about 50-cents?" I looked back at her just as quizzically and answered, "Ok?"

When I got home, I looked up the phrase and understood. Oops! Not appropriate! Of course my husband, a friend who's a public school teacher, and another who's a computer geek knew right away what it said and meant. I was not to be deterred. I was not going to send it back to the thrift, or worse, put the greatest playwright of all time in the trash! So I fixed it! And I think Shakespeare himself would thank me.

Shakespeare tee (now rated G)
J. Jill skirt (shortened and embroidery removed)
Keds slip-ons
Headband (handmade by someone or other)
ALL THRIFTED!
Earrings (gift)

Oh, and I'm still working on that "new hair" thing. Thoughts?

Day 16: Menswear

This was a fun challenge that reminded me of my working days. My office attire, even skirts and dresses, had a bit of a manly feel to it. Working in a publishing house where the managerial level was dominated by men, it was a struggle just to stay informed when you felt like a lot of business decisions were made in the men's room! You'd better not look or act like a girly-girl!

The high-waisted trousers define the waist, something my lower-rise jeans fail to do. No muffin top here!

These shoes have a fun story. I am part of the Freecycle loop in my area, and one Sunday someone was offering a bag of shoes in my size. The pick-up location was in an affluent area, so I figured, "What the heck. I can always donate them to the thrift store if there is nothing I want." Turns out it was a bag of expensive and barely worn shoes! A week or two later the same women posted more shoes. I got another 5 pair! Nothing like free Anne Klein, 9 West, Coach, etc.

Merona shirt (thrifted), Talbots trousers (outlet), Anne Klein shoes (Freecycle), earrings (silver shop in Annapolis), ?? belt and bracelet (thrifted)

Of course I didn't wear this all day. I am a home school mom. I changed out the trousers for jeans and added a blue cardi. Gosh, I wear a lot of red and blue! Go here to see what others have cooked up.

Day 15: New Hair

I hate this look, but here it is:

brown tee--Urban Behavior
blue tank--LOFT (75-cents!)
pants--Gap
sandals--Rockport

All thrifted except my Loch Ness Monster necklace from The Scottish Lion Imports. Clip borrowed from my tween.

There's not a lot of "new hair" choices for short-haired girls. Yes, I could have greased it all back or spiked it all up, but those were even scarier prospects. I see short-haired girls with clips and fancy hair pretties in their coifs all the time, but there is a reason I don't wear them: I look like a dork. And I post my dorky pictures on the internet. Yikes.



On another note, today is the first day of school here at our house. I've seen all of my children mature greatly over the summer and am looking forward to a fabulous year. It will be full. In addition to our usual craziness; I'm teaching junior high and senior high composition this at our home school consortium. May God use it all for His glory and our sanctification.

Day 14: Copycat

Sally McGraw at Already Pretty is the woman who turned me on to pursuing fashion just the way I am, without having to fix myself first. I didn't need a flatter stomach, whiter teeth, or better clothes to start enjoying the way I dress. What I had was, well, already pretty. And she is my inspiration for today's copycat look.

original photo here

Here's my version:

Carol Little blouse (thrifted), LOFT dress--remix item--(thrifted), red Ropers (gift from the Texan the Christmas I married him)

Day 13: Neutral with a Pop

I'm not sure that blue is "neutral," but it's the main color in my closet. Today's a busy Saturday--the last one before school starts--so no dressing up for me! And I'll probably be switching out the heeled sandals for flip flops before hitting Sam's Club. Just keeping it real.

J. Crew shirt (thrifted), Gap jeans (thrifted), H&M belt (thrifted), Mossimo sandals (Target)

Wow, look at those bags under my eyes! That's what's left over from my 11-year-old's sleepover birthday party last night. Nice.

Day 12: Jazz Up Your Jeans

Whew! I've made it halfway through the 21 Day Challenge!

Today we're jazzing the jeans. Easy peasy. This is how you'll normally find me, cruising the grocery store or hanging out at the library.

?? blouse (thrifted), tank (Sears), J. Jill jeans (thrifted), Etienne Aigner sandals (TJ Maxx)

Gotta run! No time to wax eloquent. It's teacher meeting day at our consortium--school starts Monday!

Day 11: Dress or Skirt

Today's challenge was not a problem for me. I love skirts and dresses in the summer. They're cool and breezy. I wore my remixed choice from day 1.

Dress: LOFT (thrifted), tee: no-name (Big Lots), signal flag necklace from my childhood

To tell you the truth, I'm getting really tired of blogging about my clothes. And while it's forced me to be more thoughtful about what I put on, my default choice really is no nonsense sloppy! Today's outfit allows me to do both!

Day 10: Closet Orphan

I purposely don't have many "closet orphans." If I don't wear it, it gets donated. You know, out with the old, in with the new! And most of the things that I never wear, I've already worn this week!

However, there is this skirt. I love this skirt. It fits well, the print is great, today I wore it for a total of three hours in the car and one hour in a meeting before I took this picture, and it wrinkled minimally. Yet I never wear it.

Studio M skirt (thrifted), ?? tee (Big Lots), Route 66 blouse (KMart), Mossimo sandals (Target)

Because I haven't found a top for it that suits me, it gets pushed to the back of my closet. I don't like the white; it's boring. I have a pink Eddie Bauer tee that perfectly matches, but style-wise it's a dud. I have to find it a mate! Probably not beige. Blue maybe?

Day 9: Monochrome

I was going to wear my turquoise velor sweatsuit, but my husband vehemently vetoed it. He says I look like and 80-year-old lady of Walmart! And since this whole thing was inspired by my true love, I decided to match the gray rainy weather.

Excuse the goofy facial expression; I have exactly no time to do this today! Must go grocery shopping, school supply shopping, get my hair cut...

Merona sweatshirt (hand-me-down), Hanes t-shirt skirt (thrifted), favorite earrings (gifted), bracelet made by Dad, shoes will be black Crocs Mary Janes for rainy weather

Day 8: Dressy + Casual

Mixing dressy and casual seems like something only the rich and famous do, but I was pretty happy with the way this "cheap nobody" one turned out. The blouse is part of a 2-piece dress I bought for Pru and Eric's wedding years ago. I never wear it. I'm a home school mom; when do I get to dress up? This challenge forced it out of the closet orphan category.

I payed more than my usual thrift limit for the jeans, then had to have them professionally altered (they were out of my league), and I'm still not satisfied with their fit. They hug my thighs too much and are too loose at the waist. But again, here's a way I'm pleased to wear them.

Chadwicks blouse, Loft Jeans (thrifted, altered), Payless sandals, Avon necklace

Day 7: Layer Accessories

I bought this dress for less than $10 a few years a go to wear to my 20th high school reunion. It hasn't come out of my closet since. I don't know why! It's made from material that I could wad in a ball, shove in a suitcase, and pull it out looking lovely as ever. At it's just about as comfortable as yesterday's pajamas.

Apostrophe Dress (Sears), Tahari wedges (TJ Maxx), scarf and pearl necklaces are high school remnants

For today's challenge I took a scarf and string of faux pearls, wound them together, and paired them with another faux pearl necklace to close up the neckline of my dress for church. Hopefully the black, blue, and purple didn't look too much like a bruise!

Day 6: Unconventional

We spent the day in the city, museum-ing it with my mom-in-law. I needed something comfortable enough to wear in the heat that would travel well and wouldn't wrinkle. Oh, and the challenge today was that it also be "unconventional."

So I choose my pj's. Yes, my pajamas, my nightgown, my granny housedress. (Ain't it cute! It has owls all over it.) And belted, of course!

t-shirt (Big Lots), Nick & Nora nightgown/jumper (Target $4.48 clearance), ?? belt (thrifted), Rockport sandals (thrifted), earrings (Mom's from the '70s)

Some people lounge around the house all day in their pj's, I wear them to town. People of Walmart, here I come!

Day 5: Belt it

If I am learning anything from this little experiment it is that I can be an adventurous dresser. I have never once tucked anything into these pants. Never. Now I know most people don't consider tucking in your shirt and belting your pants an adventure, but for me, it's almost over the top!

Horny Toad T-shirt (thrifted), a.n.a. shorts (thrifted and then altered), Abercrombie belt (thrifted), Mossimo sandals (Target), thrifted necklace, bracelet made by Dad

Moms don't have to be sloppy; who knew? I feel like a brand new woman!

Day 4: Color Blocking

I thought color blocking would be my easy day. I'm a naturally plain dresser--solid color t-shirt, solid color pants or skirt--but having to put it together thoughtfully was a different story.
It's warm in our neck of the woods and today's full of housework and errands, so this is my functional yet slightly whimsical attempt at color blocking.

2 pack t-shirts, layered (Big Lots clearance), Jones New York shorts (thrifted), Rockport sandals (Amazon), flower brooch (swiped from another thrifted blouse), prayer box necklace (gifted), earrings made by dear ol' Dad